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Bank internal auditor Connor Cooper (43) yawned into his coffee cup at the kitchen table feeling lonely and unloved.
Well what was new?
The two kids no longer lived at home and his wife Katherine who no longer worked was adding weight as if that was in fashion; she was addicted to watching TV and her main social interest these days was associating with her gaggle of loud-mouth female friends, half of whom were divorced and little wonder.
Connor had the growing thought that those women had female sex as their main recreational interest.
These days Katherine turned over for him once a fortnight if he was that lucky.
Christ has life had gone stale and he was becoming grumpy.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Yeah well at least that was his first enterprising thought of the morning.
He poured coffee and took it into Katherine thinking if she turned on to her back and held out both arms and smiled there would be time to knock one off and have another shower before leaving for the office.
Katherine opened her eyes, turned on to her back and scratched between her tits that were covered by her sleeping shirt.
“Oh it’s you. Did you remember sugar?”
“It’s rare for you to bring me early coffee these days. What do you want?”
Connor put the coffee on the nightstand, kissed the side of her cheek and left, saying “Have a night day.”
“You too,” she sighed and added, “Did you have to wake me?”
Connor gritted thinking that until recently a family photo taken about ten years ago had sat on that nightstand. It had been replaced by a photo of Morris, their inaptly-named Miniature Schnauzer that had died five years ago after being run over by the late Thom Jefferson on his mobility scooter.
He drove off, knowing he was grumpy.
Mid-morning Shayne, his boss the inaptly-named director of Internal Security, brought in her new personal assistant to introduce to Connor. He immediately deduced newcomer didn’t appear suitable for Shayne who was in a gay relationship but then again perhaps that made the newcomer a suitable choice as she looked prim and proper and morally sound, although first impressions were never all that accurate of course.
Shayne frowned and grunted hi.
The newcomer Mrs Rogers giggled.
After exchange of ritualistic pleasantries the visitors departed and straining Conner heard Shayne tell the new recruit that Mr Cooper was professionally brilliant but socially boring.
“Perhaps he’s not getting enough.”
“Please Julia you must be careful about making improper comments around here; we are a bank.”
Well that qualified Julia Rogers as a bit of a maverick and her first impression of him had been right on the button, Connor thought.
He returned to examining the expense claims accounts of the manager of new business, having noting his lunch break to escape boredom was 2½ hours away.
He sniffed and mentally reviewed the image of Mrs Rogers he’d retained. She looked about thirty-eight, her breasts were sizeable but not as large as that – er 38’s – and the backs of her legs looked great. Tits, what were they?
An hour later the new woman entered Connor’s office with an accounts folder from her boss.
“These are considered urgent but I guess you’ll know that.”
“Thanks Mrs Rogers.”
“Oh Julia please.”
“Oooh that could be considered risqué.”
He said with a touch of charm, “Christ the bank has employed someone with a bubbling personality.”
“Call me Connor and if your somewhat frigid boss tells you my comment was inappropriate tell her that I explained I have a weakness for a pretty face.”
Connor witnessed the arrival of a glorious blush.
“Um Connor is she…um…?”
“I suggest you don’t bend over anywhere near her.”
Julia said, sounding horrified, that he must be joking.
“Yeah I am because she’s been living with the same girlfriend for several years and to me that qualifies as commitment.”
“I’m impressed by that comment as one doesn’t expect to hear such approval in that context from a male.”
That reply caught Connor by surprised and thinking about her remark outside his door earlier that morning he said softly, “Are you getting enough at home Julia?”
She stiffened and turned and said she better go.
Connor, kicking himself for being so clumsy said, “Julia?”
She stopped, looking a little tense.
“I acknowledge that I overstepped the mark saying that. Please feel free to report me for inappropriate behavior.”
She said that wouldn’t be necessary and admitted, “Perhaps my interaction with you was somewhat flirtatious. I considered it might help you brighten up.”
Connor asked had she been told he’d become grumpy and she looked at her feet and he said she was right not to reply.
“I must go Connor but I won’t report you. I just need a little time to get used to your directness. Let’s agree that what we say between us will remain confidential. So far you’re the only person in the team who has bahis firmaları willingly communicated with me.”
“Thanks and go in peace and people in this section will come around in time; they are a bit conservative but after all we are a bank.”
Julia smiled and gave him a slight hand wave and left.
Connor didn’t quite know what to think and went off for a pee, giving his mind time to sort itself out.
Of course that didn’t work because at the urinal he wondered if Julia was the kind of woman who’d allow him to pee over her.
Oh crap; he was losing it.
He resolved the way to resolve this was to distance himself from her and her tight ass.
What, tight ass? He hadn’t been aware he’d noticed. Christ he needed time out.
Connor strode back to his office and called in the manager of new business and the poor
guy, appearing to sense he was in the path a looming tsunami, guiltily admitted to claiming three restaurant meals with his family as legitimate business expenses.
“I guess you face being fired by the bank or perhaps you might get out of this by telling me about the culture of false claims for expenses involving work colleagues that you know about? Coming clean could possibly save you from the chop.”
The sweating guy blew the whistle.
“Good man Philip. Now these claims of yours over the past three months; how many more require reimbursements may we expect?”
Philip’s shoulders sunk and he confessed, knowing his time with the bank was terminal.
* * *
Connor chose an empty table in the employee’s café and began reflecting on his almost roller-coaster morning.
“May I join you?”
Christ it was Julia.
“Um these green tables are for executive personnel.”
“Yes but surely executives can invite tribal slaves to eat with them.”
“Um yes and that’s sharp thinking; please sit.”
“As yet I really don’t know anyone.”
“Yes and I understand and that’s why I invited you to sit with me.”
“Thanks for that partly correct statement. Oooh you are eating a chicken salad rather than steak and fries.”
That began a conversation on healthy eating.
At a lapse in conversation Julia asked had he thought of any other inappropriate things to say to her.
“You have to be joking.”
She looked at him confidently and said, “Try me.”
“Have you ever had a guy pee over you?”
Julia gulped, almost coughing out a piece of chicken on rye. She looked around nervously and said that was more than risqué.
“That’s not answering the question.”
“You’re making me uncomfortable Connor.”
“All I’m doing is trying to talk to you like a close friend.”
Julia sipped her smoothie of revolting-looking vegetable grindings, eyeing Connor speculatively.
She dabbed her lips with a napkin and he thought the lips looked very kissable.
“Tell me, does that really mean a friend or are you thinking potential mistress?”
Connor was not being caught short twice in one day and replied emphatically he meant as a female friend.
“I have more than enough male friends.”
“Then is it your wife doesn’t understand you and so you are seeking a female listening post?”
Connor rose to the occasion.
“I doubt if there ever has been a female who only listens.”
Well that was a good sign.
“Julia, do you have you any idea how difficult it is for a married man to become friendly with any female who’s not connected to his family in some way?”
“I can guess it’s about the same for a female becoming friendly with a male outside her family and established social circle. The immediate reaction by those close to her is he must be fucking her. But that’s not necessarily true is it?”
Connor looked around nervously because of her unexpected use of the F-word.
“I did keep my voice down.”
“Yeah and thanks,” he smiled. “I can’t believe we have only just met and yet appear to be on a roller-coaster; it’s almost as if we’ve always known one another.”
“Agreed, it’s surprised me too. I suggest you became a focus of my mothering instinct when I learned that you were grumpy. It did suggest you weren’t getting enough at home and by that I mean attention and companionship as well as the predominant thing on every man’s mind.”
“What beer, food and taxation?”
“Omigod how your mind ducks and dives,” she smiled.
* * *
That evening after Katherine had walked her well-worn track to the TV set, leaving Connor to clear away and plates and cope with her food preparation mess in the kitchen that he accepted as being task-sharing, he went to the home office and cleared his emails, read a couple of websites and then went to say goodnight to his wife.
Katherine was asleep in front of the blaring TV with her mouth open.
In the shower he masturbated, feeling good about himself while thinking of his new friend Julia and in his mind she remained fully clothed. He finally blasted against the glass door, squinting under the pressure on his eyes and said aloud, “Wow that was a biggie; kaçak iddaa what was the reason for that?”
In bed he thought about Julia again and decided he must not hit on her; that could risk dire consequences.
* * *
In bed that night while husband Frank was in the bathroom attempting to move his bowels after coming home late and half-drunk again, Julia dance her right-hand fingers over her vulva pleased she had one solid friend at her new workplace and pleased that three of the females in her section had wished her a good evening as they left the building.
She was still astonished that she’d managed to make her first male friend in yanks without outside intervention. To be fair Connor had encouraged her to relate to him and he probably understood her nervousness in having a boss who was gay.
Julia thought he didn’t look the type to be unduly grumpy and so things must be unsatisfactory at home. Perhaps the kids, if any, had flown the nest and his wife was little depressed. She may have given up her job and that would make her feel rather disconnected.
Now exactly what did Connor have in mind for her?
She inserted two and then a third finger.
Well if Connor had that finger probe in mind he could forget it, Julia thought. She’d never engaged in adultery and wasn’t about to step off the straight and narrow, even for Connor Cooper.
Frank stumbled into the bedroom, looking rather relieved. Obviously his long wait on the toilet had been successful.
“Do you want sex?”
God who did he think he was, Rambo?
“Not thanks darling,” she said, just avoiding adding she wasn’t in the mood.
“Oh you’re not in the mood. Perhaps I’ll find a first-year college kid and ram it up her backside.”
Christ who’d decide to marry that revolting jerk?
“Well you go and find her darling and remember to use a false name.”
* * *
Julia arrived in Connor’s office on her second morning working at the bank as a PA and he quickly extinguished her bright smile by asking, “Do you masturbate?”
She began backing to the doorway.
“Isn’t it permissible to ask a friend such a question?”
She snapped, “No it’s not; I find your question offensive.”
He said fine and reminded Julia she was free to lodge a complaint against him.
“On second thoughts your question rather startled me, putting my mind into a wobble. Yes I have been known to masturbate.”
“Who knows you masturbate?”
She colored and stammered n-n-nobody and said she’d simply used that phrase as a manner of speech.
“Well don’t bother answering. What do you want?”
“I guess I do it three or four times a week. What about you?”
“The same, three or four times a week.”
“Um Connor what was the purpose of this interrogation?”
“To learn things about you, I mean intimate things. Now why are you here?”
“Mrs Armstrong, um I mean Shayne was about to come here to thank you personally for nailing Philip Newton for systematically falsifying his expenses and to advised you he’d been fired after due process. She was also pleased to get your report on the seven others you investigated on more minor instances of false claims and those people have been severely reprimanded and had reimbursed the bank.”
“Shayne was called to a meeting with the CEO about this and Shayne me to report to you on her behalf.”
“Do you think she’s attempting to throw us together?”
“Connor I’m married with a daughter at boarding school and anyway she wouldn’t have a clue that you and I have become instant friends.”
“Believe that if you wish Julia but there’s not much going on around here that Radar Armstrong doesn’t know about. She’ll even know what the color of panties you are wearing today.”
“I’m not wearing any.”
“Christ Julia this is a bank…”
“Oh did you fall for that one?”
“That title is another instance of your inappropriate behavior. Do we meet for lunch?”
Connor ran two fingers down his nose, gaining her total attention.
“I’ve been thinking we must avoid doing anything to set tongues waggling despite you and I know our sudden developing relationship is purely platonic. I’ll meet you shortly after 2:00 at O’Reilly’s lunch bar. Turn left on exiting this building and walk two blocks and turn left and it’s three doors down on the left.”
“Are you embarrassed at being seen lunching with me in our café?”
“Yes because people will discuss why is that non-executive new woman at that executive table with grumpy Connor Cooper and they will be amazed to see you are not wearing panties.”
“But I always wear…”
“Please watch your language Julia; this is a bank.”
Julia made an inappropriate one bent finger gesture at the teaser and told him not to be late for lunch.
She left shaking her head.
Julia was already seated on a bar stool when Connor arrived. She saw him coming and turned on her seat to face him. And then, ignoring everyone around her she pulled back her tight skirt up to her hips to flash at him kaçak bahis and quickly pulled it down to respectable level again.
That flash allowed Connor to observe she was wearing panties, white briefs actually.
He smiled as he came near and then kissed Julia firmly on the lips, quite startling her.
“Omigod you weren’t meant to touch me,” she said breathing a little heavily.
“Oh that was just kissing; I didn’t fondle your tits or cunt,” he whispered assertively.
They remained unaware that two women from the bank’s accounts department had come into the lunch bar behind them and had seen the flash and the kiss.
Gossip was about to spread throughout the office about the hot new recruit had found the way to put a bit smile on the face of the usually grumpy Mr Cooper.
“I’d prefer you not using the C-word.”
“I can’t honestly say I object to its use but feel it’s proper to lightly rebuke you.”
He nodded and whispered, “You do have a cunt I assume?”
“Indeed I do but I don’t require you attempting to verify my claim.”
“Fair enough, I suppose it’s best that you have made that clear.”
Julia squirmed and looked a little uncomfortable.
“Shall we say that’s my position for the time being?”
“Say whatever you wish Julia if you feel that can alter anything.”
He smiled and said he’d promised to himself not to become physically involved with her.
He grinned and said, “Disappointed?”
She began reading the menu board and said she’d have to think before answering that question.
He asked had she ever had an affair and she said no, but had come close two or three times.
Connor said a few times but all breakouts occurred when his wife was twice pregnant with their children. However he’d been thinking about it lately and now such thoughts had intensified.
“Are you saying the intensity coincided with my arrival at the office and that why we unbelievably have plunged into an easy and somewhat risqué-loaded relationship?”
She whispered and now he’d changed his mind about touching her sexually.
She frowned and said she didn’t understand and he said neither did he.
They eyed one another and laughed.
Brushing a hand over her left breast as if to capture Connor’s complete attention, Julia said that somewhat bizarre exchange indicated they were either naive or stupid about their rapidly developing relationship.
Connor countered by saying that wasn’t necessarily so. They might simply be thrashing about because they were out of their depth.
“Oooh I like that face-saving interpretation,” she smiled, showing a great mouth of teeth, and touching his leg with her foot and left it resting against him provocatively.
“Let’s read and order,” she said, showing signs of leadership and pretending her foot wasn’t resting against him.
Connor appeared to be resisting the temptation to look down to confirm the unbelievable was happening.
“I can’t see cunt sandwiches on the board,” he whispered.
Julia spluttered into suppressed laughter and grabbed his thigh as if to hold from falling from her stool.
“Do you feel it; it’s beginning to inflate,” whispered the normally conservative banking officer emerging recklessly from his shell.
Julia panicked and snatched her hand from just short of his knee and lurched away. Connor reacted and held her steady.
Intrigued, one of the bank’s two accounts clerks who had a clear view of Julia and Connor said, “Did you see what I just saw; they just failed in their attempt to .do it while sitting on bar stools.”
“Yep and we a story to tell. Old grumpy attempting to have sex in public; I can’t believe it and I doubt that others will but we must try to spread the truth about what we saw.”
Connor and Julia walked back to the bank taking care not to touch.
“Do you still do it?”
“Of course,” he said reassuringly. “But opportunities are frustratingly infrequent these days.”
Julia nodded and said her problem was her husband was drinking too much beer and was slowing down and putting on weight.
Connor said sympathetically, “Thus making himself less attractive as a lover.”
“And I suspect your fingers and your toys don’t really substitute for the real thing?”
She choked and said exactly.
Connor thought he had the answer and said, “And neither of us can accept that adultery is the solution?”
Julia sighed and that said it all.
After 20 seconds of depressed silence Connor said, “Then we must work on this.”
“Oh yes,” Julia bubbled and went to seize his arm but diverted to sweep back her blonde streaked hair.
Another twenty seconds of silence eventuated.
“What size are your tits er breasts?”
“I knew you’d eventually ask that.”
“They are big enough for me to admire with satisfaction.”
“Yes and it’s frustrating to be in sexual limbo.”
“I had no idea you felt that about us.”
In the almost full elevator Connor sneakily ran a finger up the inside of Julia’s nearest thigh until caught between the cheeks and he widened out his fingers and squeezed her butt.
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